My Heart Told Me Once Before

SET THE DATE

2007-10-22T19:23:49Z

we set the date!! finally!

June 20, 2009

bored...

2007-10-10T23:43:49Z

so i figured i may as well just use this thing cause its fun to let my thoughts out...

so today was a very long day... i had to see a neuropsychologist because of how hard i hit my head... and i had to do SOO Much testing... i felt like my head was going to explode... imagine MEAP, ACT, SAT, and National Test day all rolled into one and on crack... jammed into 9 hrs... by the end of the tests i wanted to roll over and die... if there is anything today where i actually have to think, for example driving, or pom tonight, count me out! i am so mentally drained its not even funny.

Then i had to see my plastic surgeon... and he proceeded to tell me that he thinks i still have glass in my face, which i agree... and got an x-ray for that... and surprisingly enough that was negative for glass... so now i have to wait 4 months until i can go back and have him re-evaluate me... but he did say it was an ugly scar... which i completely agree... its all raised and puffy and red... yucky... =(

so thats definetly NOT cool... i'm just so tired of it all... and i want to be done... theres only so many hours of doctors appts that i can go to without completely going insane!

but other than that, school has been going fairly decent... i've been cranking out some pretty sweet stuff... a lot of good portfolio pieces, which will be nice for when i apply for the BFA program... its exciting to see my skill develop... i think i really got this graphic design thing down... :-D hah i also decided to double major... doing both photography and graphic design... because my photography teacher, who is head of the art department at svsu, said he thinks i should persue both...

almost a year!

2007-09-20T04:27:26Z

It's been almost a year since my last post... does anyone use this anymore?? Well, I've been really angry lately and its really weird cause I'm normally alot less angry and alot more happy. A lot has happened and i think i just need a place to vent.

So...

I got engaged in June... had an amazing July full of fun and memories!! My birthday was awesome, spent hanging out with my mom, grandma and sister which was AWESOME! and then one me and dustins 3.5 year anniversary the world stopped turning.

I know... everyone says, "Just be thankful you are alive" and i am... but its just so hard when you don't feel like yourself. You don't feel the same. and i'm almost embarrassed to admit that to my family and friends, because that would be admitting that there is something wrong, and I just want everything to go back to normal. I keep hearing, "In a year or two you will completely forget about it." How come I have a hard time believeing that? I can't concentrate on school, i'm so afraid that my grades will suffer from this, and that there really is something wrong. I get so angry very quickly... I mean i would get angry before but this is like a rage... where i just have to hit something and my blood pressure goes up really high. It really really scares me.

At first everything seemed fine, there was just a large cut on my forehead... and my body was just sore. My car was totalled, but i figured that can be replaced. Then it starts to hit me... My right eye won't focus, i can't concentrate in a learning environment. Pom practice is difficult, because of physically and mentally i can't perform to my best. I feel depressed. I'm not myself. I can't look at myself in the mirror, because i don't like the person i see, because that person isn't me.

I just want to scream, and throw something through a wall. I have no patience. I constantly hear the sound of the crash over and over again in my head. Everytime i get into the car and start to drive, i keep seeing myself die, or get into another accident...

Ugh, well I have to wake up and do my day all over again... I just need a break. Now let me leave you with the words of the rock, that have helped me try to get through this...

things i need to do:

2006-09-26T16:24:58Z

-Get a life.

-Write a paper.

-Clean my room.

-Start using Livejournal again.

update?? do people even care?!

2006-08-29T21:36:47Z

alright, well i don't know if anyone even reads this or anything, but lots and lots has happened since june when i last updated...

for starters... school has started, and i'm not ready for this busy busy schedule...

i now am the pom pon coach for Nouvel, surprising huh?? who would have ever guessed that? ha... its alot of fun, and i really enjoy working with those girls... so that takes up alot of time

i also am on the SVSU pompon squad, which is really exciting... cause i'll get to be performing at SVSU football games... (yeah #14!!!) so that takes up also alot of time....

plus working 3 jobs... Victoria's Secret (Mon & Wed), Saginaw Bay Ice Arena (Fri & Sat) Babysitting (tues & thurs)

oh, and did i mention 13 credits... yeaeh that doesn't seem like alot, but when your take 3 hour studio art classes, that are only 3 credits a piece... its alot of timee spent here at SV...

i'm really excited about pompon for SVSU though... i think it will be a really good year, and i lovee making new friends... seeing as i hardly see my other ones...

well... i guess thats enough of this thing, i'm going to go watch some tv while i have a short break before my photography class... with the rocha!!

an update?

2006-06-10T14:47:06Z

i suppose... i can update this seeing as dustin is gone till 6 tonight :-( oh well i'll live somehow...

so my grandpa died exactly a week ago today... :-( it doesn't seem real... it really sucks... cause i have lost 2 grandpas in 2 years... it went from having such a great family... full of so many stories and tales, and then i lost the two biggest parts of that... and it has depressed my whole family... you can tell they are all different. Once a family of laughter and joking, to a family constantly worrying about who is the next to go. I say some of us cousins start getting married!!! so the forced family reunions aren't at funerals...

so that's where i was all week... i was up north at his funeral... well i'm actually bored of this thing now... bye

jordo2117 @ 2006-05-02T13:04:00

2006-05-02T17:04:50Z

i'm so glad that school is over...

so glad that i actually partied on a weekday... that wasn't a thursday...

school????

2006-04-24T02:04:01Z

LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!! boy am i excited... i have only 3 exams, and one is a take home... which will really make my life easier...

monday: pompon practice at 9:30ish? then i have class at 12:30, which will only be for like 5 minutes, all i have to do is turn in my final portrait, and then i have an exam at 4:30 for sociology... then i'm DONE!! woo

tuesday: Pyschology exam, and then nothing till work at 5 until 9

wednesday: absolutely NOTHING (work on scholarships) then pom pon tryouts

Thursday: nothing till pom pon tryouts, and then turn in my take home exam for history... and i'm DONE WITH SCHOOL!!

Friday: work on call 2-8, but i'm hoping i can find someone to pick up that shift, cause we have final day of pom tryouts, and i have to be there to judge...

anyway... just sitting around... gotta go study.. bye!

random

2006-04-16T16:22:47Z

i got all the classes that i wanted....

i don't like liars....

it is easter....

the boys at firsthour need to get Episode III up, cause i need something to make my day better...

happy easter.......

school still sucks...

2006-04-13T22:11:55Z

so today i just didn't wake up... i missed my psychology class again... it may just be the lack of caring about this class, and the fact that no matter how hard i try i'm going to get a C+ or B- in this class...

anyway... i registered for classes yesterday... two of the classes that i wanted weren't open, but hopefully i can get into them anyway.... i already got into the english class that i wanted with dustin, so that makes me happy... and now i just have to get my other art class...

my schedule is as follows...

Monday- (no classes)
Tuesday-
English 11:30- 12:50
3-D design 4-6:50
Intro to Black and White Photography (with the rocha) 7-10
Wednesday (no classes)
Thursday- (see tuesday)
Friday- Understanding Art I 1:30-4:20

then i'm done! yay!! that makes me super happy... so now i can find time to work around that...

bye..

its so nice outside <3 it

college, oh how you kick my ass....

2006-04-11T15:41:10Z

so next fall semester, will probably be a good one... i'm trying to get 16 credits... (5 classes) and it works out that i wouldn't have to wake up before 10 each morning... which really helps out... except for the fact that pom pon practices are going to be in the morning... GRR... but im trying to get 4 classes at SVSU, and 1 class at Delta... but i'm trying to figure out how i can register for classes with out haveing to actually go over there... :-\... i have to have 12 credits at SVSU, so i can be on the pom squad... anyway...

i need another job, mainly because Saginaw Bay Ice arena closes in a month, and i can't work at Victoria's secret everyday!! so...

i got my muffler fixed... and it sounds so much better...

i also went to Nouvel's production of the Music Man, and let me just say, WOW Torrey was AWESOME!! so was Cassie... it was so good, and the rest of the cast was also amazing... anyway...

i guess i'm going to get going, i have to work all day, and register for classes.... BYE~

i'm doing better at using this thing

2006-04-06T14:01:00Z

so this morning i woke up at 9:30, yes 9:30... i overslept, and missed my psych test... shit.... luckily i flew my ass over to SVSU and found my professor, and told him what happened... and now i'm just waiting to go back to the class at 10:30, when he has another class's test. omg, i can't believe that i did that... you know, sleeping in 5 minutes, 10minutes even, but 2 1/2 hours?!! i musta been really tired....

last night was kinda crazy... at like 9:30pm the doorbell rang, and it was bator, then it rang again, and again, and again, until finally katie came over... there was like 10 ppl over last night haha...

my stomach hurts right now, probably because i'm so nervous about taking this test... and the fact that i missed it once, and i can't miss it again... i feel like such a stupid head... who sleeps through their tests??? seriously? grr... anyway... only 2 more weeks of school, and i'm DONE FOR THE SuMMEER!!! WOO WHO!!! i wish it would just get really warm... then me and katie can tan out by the pool, and who ever else would likee to join us...

promise me this summer will be better than the last....

jordo2117 @ 2006-04-05T12:16:00

2006-04-05T16:25:08Z

katie lets start using livejournal more.... starting right now!!!

This morning i woke up at 6:20am and took my brother and his friend to school.... then i went back to bed till 7:40, and then i did my hair, and make-up, got dressed, brushed my teeth... and then left for class at 8:20, i was 10 minutes late for class, but i didn't care. then i started to work on my wood block... it is turning out nicely... althought my teacher doesn't really think so, but hes gay. and old. anyway. then after class, dusty was there to pick me up, and we went to big apple bagels. I got a classic turkey sandwich meal... and a boston creme muffin.... yummy... i ate the muffin on the way home, and while i was waiting for dustin at 7-11 to get a slurpee, i ate the bagel chips... yummy x2... then i got over to his house, and sat by his computer and ate my sandwich... and looked at facebook, then myspace, and now this, and i realized that i wanted to type a really awesome entry about my lovely day that i am having... i hope that this has entertained you for at least 2 minutes of reading... because now i have to go to my other art class.... pictures of my work will soon follow... once i get my INTERNET in my room fixed!

bye bye love you all :-) ha

update time......

2006-03-18T18:22:00Z

I only have like 5 minutes in between works, but i figured last night was a good night, and must be recapped!!

so 80's 90's night was ALOT OF FUN!!! i really like our little private parties... people are like "how many people were there?" and i say at times there were 5 people, then 6, and then 7 people, then 5 again, then 6, then when after i left, 4 more people showed up... so it was good... but see i don't like big parties... cause you then have alot of bitchy people who just randomly show up... and i hate those kind of people...

some drinks were shared, and i only drank water, work at 7:15am is a good reason, and being sick the next morning is no fun!

I'm really glad that este and matt showed up, cause that really made our silly threesome of Katie, me and dust alot more interesting... hehe...

pictures will soon be posted!! hehe...

but all in all, it was a really awesome dance party! haha... i mean who doesn't love old Brockway Rollerrink hits?!?! OH YEAH!!

jordo2117 @ 2006-03-12T16:21:00

2006-03-12T21:22:19Z

i want to become a model....

The Body is Art

2006-03-04T04:18:24Z

so today, i spent the whole day on adobe photoshop... yeah, it got alittle crazy... but it was fun...

sorry i had a hard time trying to figure out the LJ cut... but i tried...

here are some of my works of art...

My Necklace

My Buddah

my peepers

my neck, clavicle, and torso

jordo2117 @ 2006-03-02T09:13:00

2006-03-02T14:22:46Z

my pants are sopping wet, and my hair is frizzy, and my car is dead... wow it must be snowing... everytime it snows, snow gets under the hood of my car and rusts the connectors on my battery, thus killing my car... shit. so i had to have dustin come pick me up, while my car stays in brown parking lot....

drove a freakin half hour to get to school... got super pissed because people were driving 20 miles an hour... i was basically just coasting down the road... and i walk into my class... and sure as shit... NO CLASS!! grr... and i had even contemplated not going, but i had some extra credit to turn in, so i made the long trek there... so now i'm stuck over at dustins, until we can figure out a way to get my car started again... its usually nothing wrong with the battery, its just the connection.

so my spring break plans are shaping up nicely... looks like todays weather will be the weather that i experience X6.... dustin and i decided to go visit my grandparents... 10 ft of snow, and crazy hills... OH I'm SOO EXCITED!! well first of all, we planned this awhile ago, but now my dad told me that we can't go unless we have 4wheel drive... which dustins car doesn't... but dustin's dads car does... and we think they might let us take it... gosh i'm excited... the snow up there is soo freakin intense.. that it excites me...

so i ordered a muffler off of e-bay, because mine died... so that came in the mail yesterday... also, i get another muffler because the car was my grandmas and she said she had a lifetime warrenty on the muffler and so i get a free one when we go up there... haha so now i have 2 mufflers and only 1 car.. .haha can they give me a new hooD?! ha...

anyway... i get to see katie tonight... and thats always exciting... and hopefully class will be canceled for the rest of the day!

bye

jordo2117 @ 2006-02-17T17:49:00

2006-02-17T22:59:51Z

so i haven't updated in alittle while, lots has happened...

2 year anniversary, although it feels like we've been together longer... the dust bought me 2 dozen roses, one dozen was spread throughout saginaw at special places that we have been together, with clues on each rose, ( i did something similar to that last year) and then they led to his house, where there was another dozen in his room... and then he treated me to a nice dinner at applebees, and then we took a really long nap, which was really nice.

then tuesday was valentines day, and he bought me a diamond heart pendant necklace, which is BEAUTIFUL!! haha and we went to applebees with Katie... but i worked all day, and didn't get to see him till later (like 10)

then yesterday was his b-day, which was nice, cause they cancelled class, 7-10 history class is a bitch... so instead of class we went to target and i bought him some jones soda, and a board game... (i'm kinda short on cash these days) (christmas and everything else wiped me out) then we went to my house, and katie dust and i built a puzzle... which me jen and dust finished this morning...

anyway, now i'm planning on cleaning my mess of a room... maybe i'll take before and after photos... cause i'm feeling crazy... bye!

oh yeah, good luck NCC hockey!! woo whoo!!

update??

2006-02-07T16:12:15Z

update? well what is there to say? haven't worked like all weekend, except when i worked tuesday and saturday at the ice arena... i work today, and then saturday again... but both days i work at Victoria's Secret and the Ice arena... i did that because i couldn't work thursday and friday like i usually do at VS, because thursday and friday, me and dustin are going to try and celebrate our 2 year anniversary... we are so silly... we like make it a huge to-do... because we love to... haha.. and also, we made it 2 days, because half of both of those days, we will be in school... thus not giving us alot of time to hang out...

So the oc... who thinks Johnny dieS??? haha well... i hope he did.. .cause i hate johnny... but i wish marissa would have fallen with him! haha cause she just pisses me off...

Tonight is going to be quite a day/night.... i work 12-4 at Victoria's Secret, then 5-9 at the Ice Arena then i babysit 10-12...

then i have two tests on thursday, and one test monday, along with the pom pon meeting... which really excites me... :-D yay pompon

but now im going to go, because dustin is prolly getting made that i'm sitting on the computer because this is the only time ALL DAY that i get to see him

"give me a second i'm building a fort.... i have an apple sauce fortress" -Dustin

jordo2117 @ 2006-02-02T09:27:00

2006-02-02T14:29:52Z

today i woke up, got in my car to go to class, looked in the rear view mirror to pull out of the driveway, when my heart melted... My lovely boyfriend put a note on the mirror that read "I love you. Drive to class safely" ah... i love him so much.

anyway, by the time i got out here to go to class, it was 8:40 and i no longer felt like going to class... so i decided to skip... not to mention the fact that i feel like shit, and my head hurts... dustin isnt here right now, because he went to class, but now i'm just sitting here bored as can be. I might take a nap, because i'm very tired, and sick, and it will make me feel better.

Today is my 1/2 Birthday! haha me and katie are going to celebrate tomorrow by going to Red Lobster, and have dustin serve us at the bar. haha we are silly.

yesterday, i stayed in my PJs all day... and i wore men's boxers. Now i know why guys like to wear them... they leave ya feelin FREE!! haha... next i want to try some boxer briefs... ordered two bathing suits, and a bra from Victoria's Secret... i'm excited for those, cause they are so cute!! also i get a new bra for $10, which i am very excited about...

SO HOTT!! haha... anyway.. i'm going to go make myself some toast...

BYE

Just another update on monday

2006-01-30T16:56:52Z

It's monday, and i'm waiting for dustin to come back with the butter so we can make some grilled cheese sandwiches...

art this morning was rather boring... consisting of every couple minutes having my teacher tell me that i need something more in the picture... and listening to this self conscious weirdo talking about livejournal, and how his ex gf made him get it, and how he would just put stories in it, for example "i was attacked by aliens" he then proceeded to say "i could make a book of short stories from my livejournal" UGH annoying!!

this weekend, was fun... friday night, worked till 6, then katie and i went to Victoria's Secret, and i bought some lip plumper... haha then we went to TGI (lick my pussy) Fridays with dustin, we then decided that we wanted some pretty drinks, so we went to walmart, bought a blender, some ice, margarita mix, and some cute glasses, along with some really sweet glow stix, cause we know how to party! haha THIS JUST IN!! haha right katie? we met some of our brothers friends, and they came over and drank with us... haha

then saturday was Pom Regionals, then i had to work 2-10, then came over to dusts for like 20 minutes, and then we drove to my house, where i just fell asleep

woke up sunday with a cold :-( stuffy nose, sore throat, i had a fever, and a head ache. so i stayed in and watched the OC season 1... then me and dust went for an ice cream/slurpee run, and drove around like old times. :-) it was swell!!

our two year anniversary is coming up on the 9th, i have some cute ideas for what i'm going to do... but then valentines day on the 14th, and then dusts birthday on the 16th... we decided we wouldn't spend much money, cause christmas kinda wiped me out!

jordo2117 @ 2006-01-23T12:05:00

2006-01-23T17:06:31Z

katie, i am sorry for not calling you this weekend... it was a shitty weekend, consisting of cleaning, studying and homework... oh and WORK! YUCK! tonight, come over at like 7 because then we can make up that run on... they need it by tomorrow.. ok?

wasting time...

2006-01-21T19:04:45Z

so, i am sitting over at the dusts house.. i have to work at 2:30, he isn't here anymore, cause he just left for work at Red Lobster... it really smells up here.. and i don't really like it.

surprisingly i'm not like feeling like i REALLY DON'T WANT TO WORK! like i always get that feeling before i go to work, and i'm not feeling it.

random::: oh shit! i didn't take my one a day vitamin!! i'm getting old and i need to start taking a multivitamin! haha

anyway.. i'm kinda hungry, maybe me and jen will order a pizza or something. i'm taking this lap top with me to work... i wish i could connect to the internet while at work, but i guess it doesn't always work like that... oh well... i brought season 2 of the OC to watch, so that should keep me entertained... seeing as each episode is 45 minutes long!! and plus i have to study for my sociology exam!! yikes...

oh SVSU is creating a pom pon squad!! I AM SOOO EXCITED!! now i can add practices on top of my already busy schedule!! i hope my sister will join with me... cause that would make me happy. i am so excited that i will start getting back into shape!! i've been so lazy lately, but now i am going to have to start RE-Stretching out, cause i havent stretched since our last pom performance, and i think my muscles contracted back to the way they used to be. :-( not good.

my parents are gone for the night, but i work till 10:30, and then i have to make a run on for the Nouvel Pom pon regionals, cause they loved ours last year... hmm. well maybe katie will help me out!! katie tell me if you wanna help me do that, cause that would be SAWEET!! ha.

i really just feel like going to work right now, instead of waiting around for 2:30, cause it is only 2 right now.

i wish my hair was long... i don't really like it short... but whatever.

jordo2117 @ 2006-01-16T11:29:00

2006-01-16T16:49:53Z

so this next week is really going to suck... because i am prolly not going to see the dust hardly at all...

Today... class 8:30-11:20, dustin has class till 10:20 but works at 11 till 2... then has to work out 2:30-3:20ish then i have class 12:30- 3:20, and i can see dusting for like 20 minutes, but then i have to go to class again 4-6:50, then dustin work 6:45 till 9, and we can hang out for alittle while tonight, but we both need to get to bed early cause early class again...

tuesday... i have class 8:30-10:20, eat breakfast with the dust, then he has class 11:30-12:50 and i work 12-4, and then dust works 4-9, and then i work 5-9... then hang out again at night, but he needs to go to bed early cause he runs on wednesday at 6am...

wednesday... i have class 8:30-11:20, dustin has class till 10:20 then works at 11 again, then i have class again at 12:30-3:20 then nothing after that but dustin has bartending training, till god knows when.

thursday... i have class again... 8:30-10:20, dustins class gets out at 10:50, then has another one at 11:30-12:50, then i have to work 12-4, and then we have 3 hours of break, and then we have class at 7-10.

friday... he has class 9-11:50, and has to work out at 1:20 and i'm on-call 2-6, and then he works 6 till ???

saturday, dustin works at 2, and i work at 2:30- 10:30

sunday... dustin works at 10:30, and hopefully we will have sunday to spend together... :-(

i can't believe how busy we are... and i really hate it. because i really love to see him. Our 2 year anniversary is coming up... and it is for real! because we didn't break up, and then get back together after awhile, like some people are like oh we've been together for like 5 years, but what they fail to tell you is that he dumped her for another chick, then realized that he couldn't have that chick, so he got back with her, and then she found out the truth and dumped him for a week, then got back together, and then they went on spring break, and they both decided to break up, because they wanted to fuck other people! ha.

anyway... its really cold in dustins room, and i'm getting kinda hungry... so i suppose i will leave...

oh yeah, and apparently i lack character, and am a fucking bitch... but that is just the opinion of an unhappy person.

jordo2117 @ 2006-01-15T23:33:00

2006-01-16T04:41:47Z

oh my gosh, like seriously some people need to just move on... get over things, let it go...

Apparently i am "stealing" dustin away from his old friends. it is so annoying... because it is apparently my fault that he spends time with me. well for starters... i hardly ever see him, because of our extremely busy, overlapping schedules... while hes working i'm off, and vice versa... and now with him training to be a bartender, he will be working alot more... which really kinda sucks for me... because he is my best friend and i love hanging out with him. furthermore, i do not MAKE him hang out with me, he choose me... so it is not my fault that he loves to hang out with me too...

if you think that you can get him to choose you over me, you have another thing coming! because it will never happen.